We were just Wondering . . . Are you a Groom? January 3, 2012 Written by: Terry Tytesnboots Published in Club Room Hits: 40079 1. Are you a groom? Yes Get outta my way!!! No Darling Im the Bride Last time I looked Oh No Good Heavens Nooo I just ride them 2. How Much do you get paid ? What? Whats That? How Dare You Ask. What are you with the Tax Department? So much I cant tell you sorry An incredible amount but Im not a groom. Paid from the money I make selling bags of manure 3. If you are not a groom would you like to be? You have got to be kidding Work? Love to be only people worth knowing Yes I'd be really good but is it ok if I dont do hay and I have a slight allergy to ponies and I dont ride? Can you afford me? Sure! All those polo players!! 4. Do you enjoy being a Groom? What are you insane? Get outta my way!!!! You still here? Yes mmmm all those Polo players Nup. Piss OFF !! Its great and Im still waiting for our ponies to arrive. 5. Do you have others helping you? A charity worker comes when they can whats that? Ha ha Joke right? The ponies try some days when they see me crying in the corner Im going to let the dog out if you dont go away 6. Why do you Groom? How would you like this axe through your skull? I like rolling in the hay and all the manure Because Im in love I like Horses I have short and long term memory loss and I think its an easy life. 7. Why do you groom Really? Ok Ive called the POLICE Will you Shut UP and pick up a feed bin and come with me Because I cant work out how to pick the lock on these chains Because I love how the whole polo industry recognises all the hard work we do it so often. I have no idea maybe Im mental. Its a very rewarding priviledged job. 8. What would be your dream day on the job? Breaking a leg so I dont have to come A sleep in When they put the water on so I dont have to walk to the well Hey wait a minute I recognise you from that poster on the street lamp Just some fly spray or something.. anything.. 9. Why do your hands look like that You've got the count of three before I pull the trigger..1 I had to have them amputated when they were caught in the chaffer I wear gloves and have my nails varnished and manicured once a fortnight for $28 she is very good and comes to the house Im a groom you fool What do you mean? Is there something wrong with my hands? 10. Do they give you an allowance for washing uniforms etc., This is not a uniform No are you from this planet? Yes but we go straight to the pub We have never bothered washing anything No why do I smell? We are all naturalists here so there is no need. (You are obviously very nervous asking such a question as if you hadnt noticed.) Previous article: The Polo Game Prev Next article: Palermo! Can't Touch ThiS!! Next
